What The Hell!
by EMMA ROCX
Summary: Whem Mike ask's a strange question to Bella what will happen? What will Bella say? And Maurice the talking blender? Mike in a mask? FIND OUT! Oh and um ... REVIEW! XD
1. Chapter 1

**BPOV**

I was walking with my perfect-vampire-fiancée down the hall to our next class. Mike comes up to me and says "Hey Bella can I talk to alone for a minute?" I was a little confused but I said ok. He pulled me over by the gym.

"Bella, what side of you house do you live on?" What the hell type of question is this??

"Umm… The west side. Why do want to know this Mike?" Yes why do you want to know?

"Uhh… Umm I'm doing an uhh … survey! Yeah that's it. Bye! See you at Gym!"

And then he was gone. A survey? I doubt it. Edward walked up to me and said "What was that about? Why would he want to know what side of your house you live on?" For the first time Edward Cullen was clueless.

**EPOV**

As Mike walked up to Bella he was thinking _O.k. just ask her and then leave. Oh crap Cullen is with her! Oh well I'll just pull her towards the gym and ask her. _All the while he never did say what he was going to ask her. "Hey Bella can I talk to alone for a minute?" As Bella was being pulled away I was listing to their conversation

"Bella, what side of you house do you live on?" What kind of question was that?

"Umm… The west sides…Why do want to know this Mike?" Yes why would he want to know this?

"Uhh… Umm I'm doing an uhh … survey! Yeah that's it. Bye! See you at Gym!" _Well that was not too bad at least I got the information I need! _Why in the world would he need to know this?

I walked up to Bella and said "What was that about? Why would he want to know what side of your house you live on?" And for once I, Edward Cullen was clueless.

LATER AT BELLA'S HOUSE WHEN CHARLIE IS SLEEPING AND EDWARD IS WITH BELLA DOING STUFF!! ;o P

**MikesPOV**

_O.k. I hope she isn't asleep then I would have done this for nothing!_ I put the portable C.D. player down as I put the C.D. in that's when I heard it As she moaned his name in what sounded pleasure that's when I realized that what was happening. I thought _she's too young! And with Cullen! She could do so better! She could be with me!!_ Well I'm still going to do it. And as the music started to play I opened my mouth to sing.

**BPOV**

As I was answering an e-mail to my mom I felt two stone-like arms wrap themselves around my waist and a pair of cool marble lips start to trail kisses up from my shoulder to my collar bone to my neck to jaw and then finally to my lips. As he picked me up from the chair and carry me to the bed he started placing kisses all around my face as I said "I miss you." He smiled under the kisses and pulled away and said "It's only been 1 hour but I missed you too." I pulled his face up so I could kiss him right, but he went down to my pulse joint on my neck and started to suck on it.

"Edward" I moaned

"Yes love?"

"Can you stop that?"

"Why? You don't like it?"

"No, I do like it it's just, that it is very hard to keep my promi-"

And that's when I heard it. It sounded like a nail on a chalk board. It was Mike singing.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 2!!

**MikesPOV**

I opened my mouth to sing the song that expresses my feelings for Bella

"_Wake up!_

_When will things be good enough _

_For you to see all that we can be_

_I'm sick of_

_Playing games and acting like we never care _

_That were never there_

_We pay attention _

_For only seconds_

_Look at you look at me _

_There's ne-"_

Just then I was hit in the face with a shoe.

**BPOV**

As I heard him sig I went over to my closet and pick up a shoe then went over to my window and chucked it at Mike's head and screamed

"MIKE NEWTON! I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH YOU! I AM ENGADED TO EDWARD CULLEN! YES EDWARD FREAKIN CULLEN! WHO WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN YOU MENTALY AND PHISICLY SO GO AWAY MIKE!"

After I said this I when over to my bed and lay down. That's when Edward got up, went over to window and said

"Mike, I suggest that you leave now and to understand that you will never have a chance with Bella because 1) she's with me and 2) were engaged you-"

Then he was cut off by me chucking another shoe at him along with my talking blender named Maurice. As I throwing these things I was screaming

"EAT SHOE YOU UGLY-STALKER-BOY-THING!!"

**EPOV**

"MIKE NEWTON! I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH YOU! I AM ENGADED TO EDWARD CULLEN! YES EDWARD FREAKIN CULLEN! WHO WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN YOU MENTALY AND PHISICLY SO GO AWAY MIKE!"

As Bella was screaming this I was thinking _Whoa! She must be mad. Note to self- never make Bella mad. I'm scared and that's not even towards me!_ As she was done I got up and went towards the window and said to Mike "Mike, I suggest that you leave now and to understand that you will never have a chance with Bella because 1) she's with me and 2) were engaged you-" as I said this I was cut off by Bella screaming and throwing things at Mike. "EAT SHOE YOU UGLY-STALKER-BOY-THING!!" Then he took off a mask to reveal…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3!! . . . Or 4 . . . whatever

Then he took off a mask to reveal . . . ARO! "Bella come with me to volterra and be my wife!" He seemed serious.

"What the hell are you talking about Aro? She loves me! You know she is afraid of you and Volterra!" Edward was very angry. His liquid golden eyes have turned solid like gold . . . wait . . . like HARDENED gold there we go.

Got confused for a second. I was brought back the sound of Edward throwing a metal chair out the window. Wait . . . WHEN DID I GET A METAL CHAIR?!?!

"Edward, please don't be mad but come on! She would be perfect for my mate! With that devious body of hers she would make an excellent queen! She obviously loves me!" Aro was convinced that he was better for me.

MY LORD! FIRST JACOB NOW THIS! WHY DO YOU HATE ME GOD?!?! WHY?!?! "DO I EVEN GET A SAY IN THIS?!" O.K. that might be a little loud but hay can you blame me? They are getting me mad. And I don't like being mad.

"Of course Bella! You may do as you please!" Just as he said that Maurice The Talking Blender **– There now you can't hate me. I brought back the oh so popular Maurice! DING! Oh! My pop tarts are done continue reading!-** popped out of nowhere and jumped into a passing car with the song ' Numb ' by Linkin Park playing and screamed " I'm off to Jamaica mon! I'll be back in a few weeks!" Jessica then came running after him screaming " NOOOOOO! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!"

"If you don't choose me I shall leave you in peace!" Was Aro really giving up that easily? –thinks- nope. Well I guess I should answer him. "Aro go away!" He looked taken back for a moment.

Did he really expect me to go with him? Ha! No way in hell. "Well . . . that just won't do no will it?" then I saw the volturi step out of the dark mist witch appeared out of nowhere. All I could think was _Crap! I think I left the stove on!_

**Sooooooooooo what do ya think? TwilightAndJasperLuvr wrote this for me in school and i thought i should put it up! Iwill update faster if i get up to 7 more reveiws! go ahead an click the little button.**


	4. SORRYSORRYSORRY!

**Dear Readers,**

**This most likely the only non-chapter I'm going to put up. But I only did this because I have to tell you some things. **

**1: I'm not going to be updating soon. I've been having writers block.**

**2: I had my computer taken away from me because of my grades so I need to get those up.**

**3: Even if I had my computer I don't have the writing stuff on it to do an update. Sorry I'm working on that.**

**4: I've been really busy with balancing my social life with my schoolwork so I don't have much time to do anything on the computer.**

**5: I have been feeling really sick lately.**

**So there you go. 5 good reasons's why I haven't been updating. So please don't hate me and just keep wishing that I got over my writers block and I get some free time! I LOVE YOU ALL AND IF YOU HAVE IDEAS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER PM THEM TO ME!!!!!!**

**PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!**

**EMMAROCX**


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